Journal title

:) :) :) ADD :) :) : )

2005-03-03T15:28:57Z

__cadavers_____ adddddddd the fucking lj name. Look at the link, just click it. :) ilu all.

last one, i promise

2005-03-01T03:38:57Z

so, i suck.
i made another livejournal.
i realize, that i never really update livejournal, & im not really all that avid of a user...
but, when i comment, & when i do update, im going to be using __cadavers_____ so, all who want to, like i said before, can add me, i will probably just add all of the people i want that are on my list now anyways... so yea.

new journal

2005-02-23T01:47:40Z

idkkkk what im doing.
if you added my new journal, thanks, keep it added, plz.
If i just end up deleting that one too, i am sorry i wasted your time.
pfffffffffff..

i dont want to leave my journal.
boo hoo.
I dont think im gonna.

bye.

I guess I get points for actually putting this in a post.

2005-02-17T23:40:31Z

You Know You're Addicted to LiveJournal When...

If you can't access the site, you have a minor freak out - and a major case of hitting reload.

You found yourself composing journal entries during dates, movies, even sex!

When you're out, you suddenly think of a witty reply to a comment somebody made to you... several days ago.

You actually call it LJ and not Livejournal. Check.

You've downloaded some sort of LJ program which has only the purpose of making entries easier to write without going on the site manually.

You consider it a great offense if someone deletes you off their friend's list.

The first thing you do every day when you go online is check your friends journals - even before checking your email.

You actually paid money for a few extra pictures with a full account when you could actually just alternate pics when you want to for your screen icons.

When your friends ask what's new, you get mad at them because you already wrote it in your LJ and they didn't check it yet.

You have put more time into LJ than all your assignments for the semester.

You have more friends on LJ than in real life.

You've met at laest 50% of your LJ friends.

You can't seem to call your friends by their real names - only LJ names will do.

You've fallen in love with someone you met on LJ.

You have posted about a party or get together on your LJ... and random strangers showed up.

You are guilty of traveling more than an hour to meet someone with LiveJournal. (Extra points for traveling five hours or more)

You've written a protected entry about one of your LiveJournal friends. (Extra points if they eventually found out about it)

You have written posts to notify people you're going to sleep.

You talk about your LJ friends to your real life friends all the time... like they're a part of your group.

You've created a LJ community, and people actually post in it.

You've been recognized in real live by a fellow LJ'er.

You have friended someone because of their LiveJournal icon.

You have "pity friends" on your list, who you would defriend if you could.

You've pimped one of your friends on journal, trying to get people to friend him / her.

Instead of doing research, you post difficult questions on your LiveJournal.

Your pets all have their own LiveJournals.

You know, right now, how many people have friended you (without peeking).

You've stopped being friends with someone in real life because of something they've said on LJ.

You're guilty of posting sexy or nude pictures to get more people to friend you.

You have consoled yourself after a horrible day thinking "At least this will make a great LJ post"

You're jealous of people who have more friends and / or comments than you.

You have written a really great, solid post - only to be disappointed by the lack of good comments.

You're guilty of commenting excessively to get more traffic to your journal.

You've deleted a post a few minutes (or hours) after you've written it, because it seemed lame in retro spect.

You give shout outs to all your LJ friends on their birthdays.

You have an additional, secret journal that hardly anyone knows about.

You've broken up with someone - or ended a friendship - soley via LiveJournal.

You have gotten mean anonymous comments (bonus points for figuring out who it was via their IP)

You've been reported (or reported someone) to LJ Abuse.

You've been featured on LJ Drama.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are LJ addicts.

SO IM GONNA BE WICKED UPSET IF MY LJ BUDDIES DONT COMMENT LOTS & LOTS!!!!

Your sandy hair floats in the air... To me it's like a lullaby... I'm just flying by... Oh so high..

2005-02-14T22:31:14Z

Today, I have decided that Valentines Day isnt always shitty.

I love Kyle Kingsbury. He is the sweetest person ever & he makes me more happy than anyone could.

I am a lucky girl.

Hello, my love. Wasn't this trip quite fun? I think so. Just like you, so very cute and appealing.

2005-02-07T23:03:08Z

I am studious. I listen when the teacher is talking. I do not doodle. Nikki is not buff.

I just killed your friends page.

Sorrrrry.

Nothing has been going on lately that is worthy of an update. I never update, everyday is the same. Sometimes stuff happens but I see no point in putting it in here. No one would care really.

Uhhhhmm, Red on the Day has a show on the 20th with Bury Your Dead!

No im lying. But they do have a show. On the 20th. With Paint the Town Dead.

:)/

fuckyesGMCwillbesuretohitthatup. Or maybe just me. Like USUAL. Stef Kelly *ahem*

Valentines day is soon, as is February vacation. As if you didnt know. bye i guess.

you know every word you say goes straight to my heart, no bypassing

2005-01-24T01:19:28Z

I need to find one of those. I think I am going to go check out Ebay in a little bit..

Last week was amazing. I only had two full days. I slept alot. Midterms are my favorite, next to having no school at all.

Why was there a blizzard in NH on Saturday night? It would be more benefical on say, a SUNDAY night. This always happens. Its inescapable. Its also freezing.

...........I wonder what people taste like.
I love cats.
I like dogs.
I like frogs.
I wonder if one was to stab themselves in the heart, if it would have a greater hurt than if you just left it on its own while you let your mind wa n d e r.
Would it be more effective to stab your brain?
I wonder why people come in such vAri3tY.
What makes a person hate themselves, what makes them love themselves?
You arent even that great, dont love yourself. Dont hate yourself either.
Dont have a big ego. It pisses me off.
I wonder why some people are horrible and some are amazing.
Why are alot of i n d i v i d u a l s more fortunate than others? Why am I more fortunate than many? Why are many more fortunate than I?
Why dont I just speak my mind EVERY time someThing bothers me??

No one would like me...

EDIT-- I just realized my entry looks like Toris. Pretty sweet.

l-l-l-l-l-l-liar...Youre a liar.

2005-01-12T23:19:21Z

I like to keep Nikkis LJ on my list & pretend she still has one cuz it makes me feel better.

the caption read "danger" silly boy, "you've got to know when to STOP."

2005-01-08T20:50:19Z

To whom it may concern,

Talk shit about me, do it 24/7 & I still wont care. Talk shit about the people I love & I will kill you. You can take that as a promise. Sincerely, Bekki.

-------------------> Anterrabae is the shit

---------->I finally figured out just about everything on my new digital camera. Its pretty awesome.

- I love him alot :}

time waits for no one

2004-12-27T03:53:58Z

I have felt like shit this whole week but today I feel much better. Its nice not to feel miserable. I have been listening to this further seems forever cd for hours and I feel like my ears are going to bleed. Ok. I only updated because I did this long thing. & because I was bored. & because I Love LJ alot.

Oh I hope everyone had a good Giftmas.

Using band names, spell out your first name:

Remembering never

Evergreen Terrace

Blink 182!

Every time i die

Closer than kin

Coheed and cambria

AFI

LAO

Yeah yeah yeahs

Norma jean

No use for a name

Caliban

On broken wings

Lost city angels

Ed gein

Mewithoutyou

Anatomy of a ghost

Nora

-That was wicked fun, so i did my whole name.

2) Have you ever had a song written about you? I dont think so.
3) What song makes you cry? not one song imparticular but Hoobastank the one thats like "I never meant to hurt you" that one made me cry once.
4) What song makes you happy? Anarchy in the UK
5) What do you like to listen to before bed? whatever is in the 1st cd space of my player, right now thats Keepsake.
6) Name a song by Coal Chamber: that song by Coal Chamber.
7) Who was/were your idols when you were younger? something along the lines of Britney Spears
8) First album you ever bought? Spice Girls
9) Name a song that reminds you of someone and why: No.

HEIGHT: 5’5"

HAIR COLOR: black
SKIN COLOR: white
EYE COLOR: brown
PIERCINGS: yes.
TATTOOS: too many to count. Or, none, I dont remember.

r i g h t n o w

WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: that would involve looking down.
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: against my better judgement - further seems forever
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: saliva
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: I cant see but I imagine its nippy.

d o y o u

GET MOTION SICKNESS?: YES.
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: most likely
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: there are times
LIKE TO DRIVE?: taken from my many experiences driving all I can say is that I love it.

f a v o r i t e s

MAGAZINE: i dont read them enough to have a favorite
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Nogg.
ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Sr8 whiskey.
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: live it up.
BAND OR GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER: fiddy sent.

h a v e y o u

BROKEN THE LAW: obvs. How do you think I got this hardcore?
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: every day
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: sr8 up.
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: why so gross bacteria can go up my vagina?
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: pfft. of course.
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: YES...... no.
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: Yea I am a baaaaaddd aassss.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: every day. I aint need no skewl.
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: every morning
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: i might have, i might not have.
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Yea it was annoying, i was like hey, thats annoying.

l o v e

BOYFRIEND: like 2,045. His names Kyle.
GIRLFRIEND: Nikki<3.
SEXUALITY: BI!!!!!!!!! But I only like guys.
CHILDREN: I am like jesus, you are all my children
BEEN IN LOVE?: yes
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: yes, but then i got over them.
BEEN HURT?: yes, & then i got hurt again.
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: that time when i did that thing
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: I BLAME MONIQUE! I never even liked him.

r a n d o m

DO YOU HAVE A JOB: yes.... No.
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: green
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: music, people that i like, not people that i dont like, cool hair
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: WHAT EVER CD THAT I DECIDE TO GET!
.

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t

TIME YOU CRIED?: thursday night! Good times.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: oh mayneeee... idontremember
YOU GOT E-MAIL: today
THING YOU PURCHASED: a cd.
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: viva la bam
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: national treasure

y o u r t h o u g h t s o n

ABORTION: <3<3 77% of abortion petitioners are male. 100% of them will never be pregnant.
TEENAGE SMOKING: Any smoking is bad. Starting it early just ensures a higher chance of you getting addicted. After that you will probably get cancer, because that is what happens. Then I will have to visit you (if I like you.) Then I will be sad because you will most definetly die of this cancer because there is no way I am giving you one of my lungs. You are the one who started smoking so its your fault you have gross black lungs. Then you will die. I would give Kyle one of my lungs though, but none of you other people. I would never let him live it down though. Like everyday I would tell him, hey man you should do this for me, you have my lung.
SPICE GIRLS: brilliant.
DREAMS: are fun.

I should not have woken up this morning.

2004-12-21T01:17:45Z

Today was SO bad.
This is the first time I have... "over-shown my emotions" in school since like... a little less than a year ago.
Nothing more can be expected of an emo kid like me though.
Le sigh.!.
Walking in the hallways today made me want to punch everyone in the mouth that was smiling, even my best friends. Little...& big things kept building up today and by the end of the day I was fucking sick of it. I looked at Pats car and I was going to punch the window, but I just turned to Rikki and punched him in the arm and yelled what the fuck instead. I blame Eric because he hit my head with the trunk door by accident. Plus I blame the weather for being so cold and slippery. Yea I freaked out. Rikki still made me feel better even though I punched him... granted, I dont hit very hard. I think he thought it was funny.
I was surprised to see Kyle at my house when I got there. Very surprised. I thought he was "sleding".
I was with him till he left, then I watched Saved!... and now I feel better. A little. I guess since I cannot control my feelings I should stay in the dark and write depressing songs. Sigh, Sigh SIGH!
For those who cannot sense that sarcasm, allow me to let you know, I am being sarcastic. I had an off day. It happens. Dont eat asparagus the night before I guess.

I think its pretty stupid when people make statements into questions? Like this? To show sarcasm?
Ex: I love you guys so much? = I dont like you at all.
It makes you look unintelligent...but alas, you are, so at least the punctuation choices you make match your intelligence level so we all know your low capabilities directly from the grammar you use.

the story is in the soil; keep your ear to the ground

2004-12-17T03:03:17Z

Uhhhh, Sunday I went to a show at the bombshelter.
Red on the Day played late, but they did good, like usual and it was awesome. Heros 4 Hire sounds the same to me minus Tobys whines. I met the new guy, hes a nice kid. The Mourning Sky was really good, I liked them alot. A band near the beginning I liked too, I just dont remember who they were.

Everyone is sick, John and Shawn are out because of bronchytis(sp?), I think Rup is getting it, Kyle is sick, and now my throat hurts like a bitch. I figured that was going to happen. I suck.

Christmas is going to be really stupid this year. It gets worse every year. I think its because I get less stuff, and the holiday seems less, magical. I used to be surprised every year, now I pretty much help wrap my own presents.

I enjoy the Mars Volta, I want the cd instead of downloads off the internet.

Take this heart of darkness
-I give it up.
& all the emptyness
-I fill it up.
The times that I feel nothing
-You bring enough.
So I can live for something
-You lift me up.
& all these bad dreams
I wake up to the light
& when I cant see
I wake up to your eyes.
-Wake me up.

Theres a light up ahead

Your ashes will fuel the machine.

2004-12-08T03:04:10Z

Okay once I get bored, I just need to sign offline because when I dont, I just search for things to look at and read. I looked at an old friends old Livejournal entries this time. Mistake? Yeshhhh. Big one too. I cannot believe how unwilling I am to let go. I thought that I did, and I have? Maybe I just miss my old friend(s). Alot. I keep thinking about the awesome times I had last year that I wont have again with those people. Its sad. Im sure they dont care, or think about me anymore, but they arent the pathetic ones, I think. Its so sad that you could be so close to people and have their hatred in only a years time. I really wonder if they care. Should I care either way? People tell me that I shouldnt but honestly, they arent me, so therefore have no control over what and who I care about. I obviously dont either because, well, here I am. I guess after I go do my homework and fall asleep this will all be old hat until next time I go and think too much. Memories. Sigh. Haha, but it does make me laugh to think that like, all of my friends would be wicked mad at me if they knew the people that I was missing. Well fuck you, getting mad at me because I miss the good times, you dont even know. You fucking dont even know.

Off subject but still something that needs to be recognized - tacos & dunkachinos are SO good.
Bekki, you are a fat ass. Please no one comment to agree with that, it probably wouldnt do me any good.

I hate updating alot, but I have been lately.
Livejournal, you are the ventee, I am the venter.

tear my eyes right out; id rather see you without them anyways

2004-12-06T02:32:54Z

Holy shit, I have never been so happy because of one person and PISSED off because of certain people before in my life. I cannot believe how crazy it is, I want to push away this angry feeling that I have, I guess I will just have to kill them. Thats the only way that they will move the FUCK on, and I will get this feeling the FUCK out of me. !!!!!!!!!! Two contradictory feelings at the same time, I am really not enjoying this.
OK! SO!
This weekend was alright, Kyle got a sweet job with fucked hours. I am so selfish. 10pm-2am? Thanks but those are MY hours...
I like driving with Stephanie, it makes me feel sick, but its fun. We must have sang lovers & liars 43965894685 times together, with much talent i must say. I went to Newbury Comics on friday with her and spent my food money on the From First To Last EP. I didnt have enough for the cd. I am happy. I really like this band.
Whoa, drama at Steves house that night though. I was entertained. I would have to say that I enjoyed myself. I like sleeping in closets too... but fyi, not alone because then its just cold and uncomfortable.

hmm.

I'll be hiding in the shadows
I'll be waiting in the dark
to drive this blade straight through your heart
I'll drag your body to the car
as blood races down my arm
I think everyone will wonder where you are, do you?

I'll hide you in my walls
your body will never be found
I'll wear your skin as a suit, pretend to be you
your friends will like you more than they used to

dear diary my teen angst bullshit has a body count
I believe its 6 going on 7 now

I've been dreaming about you
in a pool of your own blood
with your eyes gouged out
by the work of my thumbs
the scent of your insides
from under the floorboards
the perfect perfume
to settle a score.
<3.
ride
the wings
of pestilence

EDIT---
MY LAYOUT IS FUCKING AWESOME AND WAY BETTER THAN YOURS! THANX TO ME!!!!

Hey, read this!!!! & then get a ticket!!! & then go to it!!!

2004-12-02T01:07:56Z

December 12th 4:00PM
$10.00 ALL AGES
@ THE BOMBSHELTER
97 EDDY RD BEHIND THE COCA-COLA FACTORY

~RED ON THE DAY
~BLACK DRAGON
~MOURNING SKY
~WORLD ABLAZE
See one of the band members for tickets
or call 264-1388 ask for the Rup.

I told him I was afraid of falling. Then he pulled me closer and whispered, "I have wings".

2004-11-29T04:29:47Z

Hello Bekki, you are FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!

You are all in one, confused and yet completely sure of yourself. You are sad and yet, you could not be happier. You are in love but you are missing. You are trusting but you cant get over the fact that people are subjectable to untrustworthy acts all of the time. When you are at home, you want to leave, when you are gone, you want to go home. A boy can make you SO happy, but can kill your heart. You are shy. You are pessimistic. You are outgoing. You love life.

...I love you Kyle. No opposite to that.

Goodnight.

ps: rotd!!

the signal flares will light the way to the scene of the accident....

2004-11-26T19:13:41Z

update.

I forgot to say, in my last entry, Bands for cans was fun. Obviously some parts brought the day down but it was fun none the less. Ok, Thanksgiving was kind of lame. I dont like turkey or pretty much any food we have on that day except for pie. Plus, not even all of my family was there. Oh well, Christmas is comming up, hopefully it will be amazing and compensate for my sucky Thanksgiving. After the "celebrations" I went home and talked to Pat, and we decided to go to the movies. Ty couldnt go, apparenty..... and so I went with Pat and John to see Alexander. It was an alright movie, kinda made me question Colin Farrells sexuality, and he looks really bad with blonde hair by the way. It was 3 fucking hours too, kind of outrageous. But I came to the conclusion that Jared Leto is amazing!!!...

and I already knew but I know more now that Angelina Jolie is amazing too, you all know what she looks like.

Kbye...

PS: The signal flares will light the way
to the scene of the accident where we'll dance
like a pile of teeth in a broken mouth
Such a sick celebration
Everyone loves a fucking tragedy
in epic proportions

Lets set our hearts at self-destruct.

whoa welcome to fagsville.

2004-11-22T23:28:27Z

s'cuse me, why am I on your friends list?

Why do you talk to me, if you do talk to me?

I would like to know, seriously.

I just noticed how, dependent i am on other people to make me happy. Without certain people in my life everyday im not as happy as i could be if they were there. I get moody, and i whine about it whether aloud or in my head. I let it take over my day. Lame. Or maybe the people i love should always be with me everyday forever!...no. Also, I need to be smarter and more attentive, i have noticed lately that in half of my classes all i do is space, daydream if you will. I need top notch grades cuz another thing that brings me down is a low GPA. Or maybe my teachers should learn not to drone on and on, and start making stuff interesting, MRS WHITE... Or not. PLUS, I need to be less obsessive over minor things. I should use that concern with my work instead of, i dont know, what im doing friday night. I want to be better.

In other news, an early, Happy Thanksgiving, and days following it.

I LOVE CUTE ANIMALZ!!!!

2004-11-18T03:18:18Z

akdjsakfjwrewfnvnhhhhhhh!!!!!

WICKED CUTE!

I love Mrs Conway and Mrs Johnson.<3

Beware! I have a disease where borderline intolerance fucks lethargy in a rythmic fashion.

2004-11-05T04:32:53Z

Yea Baby!

In other news. I just stayed up all night doing my project for Economics. I waited till the last minute once again, but i have confidence in it. I think i did well. I also love Microsoft Word because it recovered my information when I didnt save it and i needed to restart my computer. Bill Gates thank you once again!

In 30min it will be Friday. I am x-ing my fingers for Danvers on Saturday. You should be too... for me.

.:EDIT:. Add oh StagnantDeath over my old screenname. This will be the last time I fucking change it.

how can you have any pudding, if you dont eat your meat?

2004-10-27T01:43:51Z

UPDATE!

My head hurts. So does my tongue. Weird. This weekend I was supposed to go to the Danvers Mental Institution with some kids, but im not sure if we are going to follow through. We are contemplating that Halloween weekend will have too many cops patroling it. Sucks. The place is amazing. Literally. I love scary things. I just want to be scared shitless. Thats all. Movies dont do it. So what about a real life senario?

Red On The Day is my fave band. Everyone should love them... On a not so different note, IloveKyle.

NO SCHOOL NOV. 2nd DUE TO VOTING!!!

and oh yes, the Red Sox keep winning... its completely awesome.

[x] Name?--------Rebecca Lynn Coleman
[x] how old?----------one five
[x] female Or male:-------- grrl
[x] birthday:--------06.16.89
[x] race:--------Caucasion(sp?)
[x] Birthplace:---------Milky Way-Earth-North America-United States-New England-New Hampshire-Hillsborough County-Manchester-Elliot Hospital-Room.....
[x] Current school-------Memorial High
[x] Eye Color:----------brown.
[x] Hair Color:------------black, like my skin.
[x] Righty or Lefty:---------Righty
[x] Zodiac Sign:---------Gemini
[x] Innie or Outtie:--------Innie

[[---------------DESCRIBE----------------]]
[x] The shoes you wore today:---------black Bams
[x] your eyes:---------- fucking suck
[x] Your fears:--------Loosing the people that I love. Sucking at life when i grow up.

[[---------------WHAT IS------------------]]
[x] Your most overused phrase on aim:--------Hey/hello/hi
[x] Your thoughts when you first wake up:---------"im going to be late"
[x] The first feature you notice in the opposite sex:---------ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
[x] Your best physical features:----------Im not missing any appendages.
[x] Your most missed memory:--------Fun things

[[---------------YOU PREFER------------]]
[x] Pepsi or coke:-----------P-E-P-S-I, Coke tastes like chalk
[x] McDonald's or Burger King:--------W"I"ndys
[x] Cappuccino or coffee:-------------gross

[[---------------DO YOU------------------]]
[x] Smoke:----------nope
[x]Cuss:--------fuckin right
[x] Take a shower everyday:----------no? :)
[x] Have a crush(es):------- yea, i have a wickid naztay crush on this hawt boi
[x] Who are they:-------- dont tell anyone... KYLE KINGSBURY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shh...
[x] Do you think you've been in love?:---------- I Know.
[x]Do you want to go to college:--------- want to? No. Have to, in order to keep myself off da streetz, Yes.
[x] Do you want to get married:-----------Yes, and only ONE time.
[x] Type w/ your fingers on the right keys:-------who cares?
[x] Believe in yourself:--------SURE i dont.
[x] Get motion sickness:-----------only if i am reading while im in a car.
[x] Think you're attractive:---------SURE i dont.
[x] Think you're a health freak:--------no
[x] Get along with your parents:----------sometimes
[x]like thunderstorms:-------yesh
[x] Play an instrument:--------nnnnnnnnnnnoooooooowah

[[---in the past month have/did you---]]
[x] Go to the mall:------JUST TODAY!!!!!!
[x] Eaten sushi:--------no
[x] Been dumped:--------no
[x]gone skating--------skating or sk8in'? Either way, No.
[x] Made homemade cookies:---------nnope
[x] Been in love:-----------yea
[x] Dyed your hair:--------no
[x] Stolen anything:--------mad items

[[----------HAVE YOU EVER-----------]]
[x] Flown on a plane:---------not ON, but in.
[x] Missed school because it was raining?:--------hhaa, No?
[x] Told a guy/girl that you liked them?:-------yea i gave him a note but he never checked the box to see if he liked me back..
[x] Cried during a Movie?:---------oooooooooooohhh yea
[x] Ever thought an animated character was hott?:--------NO!..
[x] Cut your own hair:-------yep
[x] Had crush on a teacher?:------------ Ms Byron.
[x] Played a game that required removal of clothing?:------------sorry, i'm not stef
[x] Been trashed or extremely intoxicated:---------totallyyyy
[x] Been caught "doing something":--------sure
[x] Gotten beaten up ?:----------Yeah by my dad.

[[-----------OPPOSITE SEX-----------]]
[x] notice first?:---------ok....I already answered this. Their ASS!!!!!
[x] have a BF/GF?:-------lyke, my BF iz 4w35uM
[x] wut u into??:--------- black metal.
[x] any specific kind of guy/gurl you into?:---------gurl? haha.
[x] feelin anyone?:---------theres no one here with me
[x]been rejected?----------no wayyyyyy
[x] ever rejected sumone?:--------every dayyyy
[x] broken someones heart?:---------pfft......
[x]ever been heart broken?:--------YESSSSS
[x] if so how many times?:---------UNO ...(1)
[x] how many ppl of the opposite sex is in your buddy list on AIM right now? online right now?:---------20
[x] been kissed recently??:-------Yes
[x] from who?:-------my wickid awesum bf
[x]Best eye color:---------Kyles'
[x] Best hair color:---------Black
[x] Best height:-------as long as they are taller than me

[[-----------NUMBER OF-------------]]
[x] Number of drugs taken illegally:----------ALL OF THEM... or like.. one, two including alcohol. [x] Number of people I could trust with my life:--------one..two.....two.
[x] Number of CDs that I own:---------i dont know
[x] Number of piercings:------4953463659365869548694576677700000
[x] Number of tattoos:---------0
[x] Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?:-------------One
[x] Number of scars on my body:----------more than 12
[x] Number of things in my past that I regret:---------my life

[[-----------FAVORITES---------------]]
[x] Shampoo:---------Suave, some strawberry smelling stuff.
[x] Fav Color:----------Green
[x] Day/Night:-------Night
[x] Summer/Winter:----------Autumn
[x] Fave Cartoon Character:---------uhhhh MEATWAD!
[x] Fave Food:----------chinese food, and spaghetti
[x] Fave sport:---------cheerleading! no, snowboarding.
[x] fave music video:-----------right now? The Silverstien one.

[[-----------RIGHT NOW-------------]]
[x] Wearing:------------some sk8 shirt
[x] Drinking:----------my own saliva.
[x]Thinking about:---------the project that i should be doing
[x] Listening to:-------- "...."

[[------IN THE LAST 24 HRS-------]]
[x] Cried:---------No
[x] Worn jeans:--------Yes
[x] Met someone new online:--------of course, i have so many E-Friends.
[x] Done laundry:--------no
[x] Drove a car:-------no
[x] Talked on the phone:---------yep

[[-----FRIENDS AND LIFE------- ]]
[x] Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?:---------I already answered this! This thing is so redundant.
[x] Do you like anyone?:--------...Obviously
[x] Which one of your friends acts the most like you?:----------None.
[x]Who have you known the longest of your closest friends?:----------Stef
[x]Are you close to any family member?:--------my cuz, who is also the answer to the question above
[x] Who do you hang around the most?:-------Kyle
[x] When have you cried the most:--------February-June 2004
[x] What's the best feeling in the world?:---------mutual love
[x] Worst Feeling?:---------oh man... that feeling when your throat seems like it closes up, and your lungs seem like they are being squeezed, and you can actaully feel your heart aching.

[[-------------OTHERS--------------]]
[x] ever fallen for a friend?:-----------im not sure
[x] ever dated someone out of your school?:-------yeeeeea
[x] you know anyone that is feeling you right now?:---------why would anyone be feeling me?

[[--------RANDOMNESS-----------]]
[x] what was the last thing you ate?:--------potatoes.
[x] the last person u talked on the phone with?:--------my mom
[x] favorite drink?:-----------str8 jack! actually, anything Kiwi-Strawberry.
[x] the last movie that you saw?:-----------The Blair Witch 2
[x]hugs or kisses?:---------XXXXXXXXXXXX
[x] the loudest people you know:----------my mom
[x] car:---------accident

You dont even know if i am beautiful... you tell me but it's just a shot in the dark

2004-10-20T20:46:38Z

I just fixed my keyboard wire. I should be a mechanic or something.

I love art & using oil pastels. It makes me happy.

Holy shit, did any one see that bitch ass move last night made by a-rod. I cant believe he actually tried to pass it off as the way he ran. Yea I run with my hands waving too, like a fag. Im glad they caught that most obvious attempt. Yankees, those motherfucking cheaters... If we win tonight, it would be great. But they do this every year, lose and disapoint everyone, then catch up and excite everyone, then lose the last game and everyone gets sad again. Those little bitches... and i find it interesting that they finally win at the end, just enough to have to play game 7, so its like a "showdown" or whatever. I think its all set up. Its an act...
oh well. GO RED SOX!

I had something else to say before, but i cant remember it.
So bye.

EDIT @ 9:20:
WE ARE WINNING!!!!! HOORAY, J-DAMON!!! I <3 YOU AND YOUR LONG HAIR!!!! and ORTIZ! CANT FORGET THAT HUGE MOTHERFUCKER!

our falling bombs are her shooting stars

2004-10-18T00:20:01Z

Church fucking sucks. I had to go today for a memorial service, thats the only reason i went. I hate standing up for 2 hours, it sucks, and listening to my priest, he sucks. Im not trying to be all anti-god, or anything but he talks in greek 3/4 of the time. I hate when people are like "dude fuck god, i have no religion, its lame" if they dont know anything about it. If you dont know anything about religion than you cant judge it. No i dont believe in god, but yea i know about him, ive been to church every sunday of my life, up until this year. But i saw my cousin Nickolas, he is going to be a ladies man when he grows up. I am going to drive him around, and we are going to pick up chicks. He's fly.

I saw alien 4? yesterday, i dont remember which one. It made me sad. I also saw Blair Witch 2 yesterday. It also made me sad. Cuz it sucked. The first one was good because i still wanted to watch it even though it didnt have all this flashy shit, it was just a documentary and i was still glued to the tv. But the second, just like any other scary movie, thats not scary. Oh well.

Halloween is a massacred holiday. Its not what you think it is. We just made it that way.

I told myself not to let this happen, but then how are you supposed to mend your wounds?

2004-10-12T00:46:35Z

My weekend would have been great.
But you know, it wasnt.
I could have been happy.
But you know, i wasnt.

If something happens it is going to hurt a lot,
i could close my eyes and wait for it to be over,
only if i wanted to miss the ride.

I dont feel well. To be blunt, I am just sad.
I miss Kyle cuz i havent seen/talked to him in 2 days... is that lame?
If it is please inform me so I can not care.

Whats up, I like dinosaurs. Its like the only thing that hasnt changed about me since i was 7 or so and I saw the first Jurassic Park. That and my love for Pokemon.
I just remembered that, cuz i saw Jurassic Park 3 again last night over Jenns. Not the cutsy dinosaurs that everyone likes now cuz they're cool or whatever. I dont even know what started that. I mean like im really interested in them. Actual dinosaurs. I wish i could go to school for paleontology. Hey... who said that i couldnt?

'night.

I wish I was sleeping in your hospital bed

2004-10-05T01:33:32Z

Hmmm...

You know what I love, when I think work is due earlier than it really is, so when I finish it, and I find out its not due till later, I dont have to do it, but if I know the real date I tend to put it off till the last minute and then at 12:00 the day its due I try to do it, and I fall asleep halfway through and i dont get it done. That was a run on sentence.

I just saw Mean Girls. It was funny. And it made me think, I wish life was like the movies though. I wish rumors didnt exist, people never talked behind other peoples backs, nobody hurt anyone, and everyone was beautiful and equal.
But its not like that rumors most definetly exist and are fucking stupid, friends - never mind people, talk behind friends backs, and everybody hurts everyone. Oh and nobody is equal and hardly anybody is truely beautiful. When I say nobody is equal it doesnt mean that I think that. I think everybody is equal, but they sure as hell arent treated that way, and not im not talking about fucking black people and white people either because that was like 180 years ago. No im not racist. So dont think that because i said black people, because im sure someone will. When i say hardly anyone is truely beautiful i am being 100% corny in saying beautiful on the inside. Wouldnt it be cool though if everyone was pretty on the outside? Too bad that wouldnt work. For every one person who thinks someone is good looking there is another one who thinks they are not. Keep that in mind when someone calls you ugly. Or pretty for that matter, not to bring you down just not to get your ego up. No one likes people with big egos.
Oh and i'll end this in saying I know that i am part of the community that I am complaining about. Which is everyone. So i guess i am being hypocritical in certain areas. At least i am aware of it. So when i say everyone sucks. I know its including me. But not Kyle. :).

You shouldnt drink Mt Dew at night.